Good Friday

My life has taken such a turn the last 8 days. It is amazing how a situation can change so rapidly. A week ago my husband was admitted to the hospital with jaundice, no pain, and itching. We now suspect he has pancreatic cancer. That fast ( snaps fingers) things changed.

Now let me be clear.. my husband is not an easy person.. he has Asperger's syndrome, he is literal, he is brilliant, but incapable of empathy. We have spent a year and a half in counseling, coming to the conclusion this winter that, we really weren't a married couple. I was caregiver, mother, sister and friend, but not wife. We had come to an somewhat easy peace with this and I was getting my own life back. Looking for work back in the USA. Then this happened. John is an atheist.

I do know these things at this moment.. this isn't about me.. it is about compassion, and the fact no matter what this man too was created to be loved by God and needs to be given the chance to know that. That the amazing Grace that God has given me, unqualified, unending and abundant, is also there for John.
God through his Son, Christ Jesus, has reached out to me and for me and loved me when I didn't even want to look at or pray to Him. How much more is John, the least of us, loved?


It has taken me several sleepless nights of prayer to come to this place of Grace, Amazing Grace, where I can reach out and say to the person that has hurt me so deeply, 'I will be here for you, and I will not leave. I will make sure that you get everything you need.'

Isn't that just what Jesus did for me today?